You just made me feel so damn special
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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