I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
