Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
