The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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