i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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