What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
