his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Randomize
