i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
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