when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
