Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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