I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Randomize
