Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
