i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
My liver is preforming stress tests.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
