i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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