I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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