We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
