She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
