your thong is hanging out like whoa
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
