Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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