Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
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