I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Randomize
