That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
You are a booty call, not a friend.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Randomize
