I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
