I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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