Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
