I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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