its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Randomize
