The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
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