So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
