just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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