if i can run in heels then i can drive
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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