shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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