I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
