i can't believe i had my finger in that
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
