I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
