Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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