Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
