if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
