this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
