singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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