Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Randomize
