Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
