I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
