ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
