Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Damn victory sex feels great
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
