By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
