Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
