Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
