i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
