she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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