He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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